Hi there. I'm Derek. Near the top of the list of things I absolutely cannot do is "be genuinely happy and excited about fitness".
We had a treadmill in the house, but that finally gave up the ghost last year after idling most of its life away. Since nobody around here is really exercise-savvy, we thought we would replace the treadmill with something that was more compact and a little quieter. Something inexpensive, something low-end. It probably wouldn't be as indestructible or fancy as the higher-end machines, but, heck, what did we have to lose?
We opted for a Universal Fitness Model 305 elliptical machine (~$700CDN delivered and assembled from a local fitness shop).
The first machine we recieved was quite scratched up and started squeaking like crazy after half an hour of use. We figured we had a lemon, so we called up the vendor to see if we could get a replacement. In the meantime, it was suggested that after the machine had been broken in, the squeaking would go away. It didn't.
The replacement unit looked better overall, but the metal joints made it look like an amateur metalworking class project.
This time, the machine became even squeakier than the first one after just ten minutes of use. Exercising with earplugs or in-ear headphones became a requirement. See for yourself:
The shop suggested we place the machine on a flat surface like a large sheet of plywood, but all that did was make the unit slide around a lot.
Manuals for exercise equipment are sort of like manuals for toasters—there's usually no need to read them. That said, here's an excerpt of the Model 305's manual for entertainment.
Note to self: make sure all exercise equpiment has a button to "set my age". Wouldn't that be cool? Just take yourself back a few years and poof! ... a healthier you. No need for flimsy exercise equipment.
Of course, that's not the manual's finest moment. The really exciting part is where there are a few paragraphs of French right in the middle of the English section.
The console interface is as miserable as you would expect from any simple electronic device, but to add insult to injury, the labelling on the console doesn't match up with the manual. Up is down? Down is up?
"Hey, what does this button at the top do?"
"M."
"Oh..."
After two rounds of very large fitness shop employees tightening screws and bolts, some of the screw heads have been stripped quite badly. There was no break-in period ("what a great first line of defense for upset customers," a friend said) and after a year, the squeaking is louder than ever.
It works. We got what we paid for. I'm splitting hairs...
...but I'm certain you can buy a much better machine for a little more money.